let’s start acting like there are infinite ways to experience sexuality / gender

being straight / cisgender is not the ‘normal’ way to live – it’s just one of many alternatives.

let’s stop forcing heteronormativity & the gender binary as if it’s the only way.

let’s stop expecting kids to be straight / cisgender – there’s a good chance they won’t be.

let’s stop telling kids they’re too young to know they’re LGBTQ+ but old enough to know they’re straight/cis – these double standards WILL harm them.

by basing the world on straight / binary models, we ignore a huge part of it

as well as continuing the marginalisation of LGBTQ+ people

let’s stop acting like it’s ‘normal’ to be straight / cisgender and ‘abnormal’ to be LGBTQ+

straight is not the template

“i’m not transphobic, i know loads of trans people”

knowing us / being friends with us doesn’t automatically mean you are an ally to us

allyship takes active work & time

being an ally requires listening to trans people, using the correct name & pronouns, practicing gender neutral language, learning how best to support trans people, showing up for us & amplifying our voices.

and that’s just a start.

having trans friends doesn’t automatically make you a trans ally

being an ally requires actively working to understand & empathise with us.

99% of people do not regret transitioning.

for the small percentage who do de-transition, it is not the terrible outcome that conservative media outlets lead us to believe

sometimes de-transitioning is a healthy part of a persons development.

let’s stop asking “but what if you regret it”

not only does it show great lack of understanding of our needs, but also it’s safe to assume we’ve thought about this for a very long time

of course, it’s good to show care & compassion. but it’s equally important to allow us the freedom to be ourselves

no one comes to this decision over night & when we do, we need supporting through it, only

let’s normalise the act of asking for and giving pronouns when we meet new people

you can never know how someone identifies & what pronouns they use based just on how they look – you need to ask them

if you can’t ask – use they/them until you know.

gendered language can be super harmful so making small changes to be more gender neutral and inclusive will go a long way.

for example, instead of saying “the woman in the hat” say “the person”. instead of gendering groups of people eg. gentlemen & women, use “everyone” “people” “persons” “folks”

it’s a privilege not having to worry about how someone will gender you, based on how they perceive your gender identity

appearance doesn’t equal pronouns

science supports that gender identity develops around the ages of 3-5 years, meaning yes, a child can absolutely know they are transgender.

of course this doesn’t mean every kid will realise they are transgender this young. It does mean though that the argument that kids are “too young” is scientifically incorrect – @pinkmantaray

“but what if they change their mind”.

in reality, the vast majority of those who DO begin hormone treatments, do not change their minds (99% of people do not regret transitioning).

For the small percentage who do, this isn’t the horrible outcome that the conservative media outlets lead us to believe.

sometimes ‘de-transitioning’ is a healthy part of a person’s psychological development.

affirming a child in whatever way they express their gender is crucial for their mental health

we must start believing trans kids.

listen to them & protect them

love them

trans kids need more

a really simple way to show someone you respect them & their gender identity is by using their correct name.

dead naming threatens trans lives.

doing so invalidates a persons authentic gender identity. not forgetting how hurtful it can be.

never ask “what name did you use before this” (it doesn’t matter)

never use a dead name. Even when talking about that person in the past.

avoid using the term “preferred name” – it’s not “preferred” it just is their name

don’t AVOID using someones name, this suggests you’re uncomfortable with their gender identity.

A dead name is called a dead name for a reason. It’s dead – SO NEVER USE IT!

x

since having top surgery my body dysmorphia has become clearer

i was always dysphoric about my chest & hips, and dysmorphic about my stomach.

top surgery only tackled the first one.

the difficulty with dysphoria & dysmorphia is that there are so many overlaps & similarities that it’s super hard to differentiate. making it sometimes harder to work through.

do i dislike the fat on my body because i was taught that ‘fat is bad’ or am i dysphoric about it.

i’m sure a lot of people can relate with this.

for me, i’ve been learning that my gender identity is one thing, but having issues relating with body image is a completely separate thing, not relating to my gender but to societal expectations & rules.

unlearning these toxic messages will be the most important thing for me to overcome the dysmorphia i feel.

AND THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS ‘LOOKING NON-BINARY’

Let’s clear up some common misconceptions 🙂 swipe or read below!

  1. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE EQUALLY MASCULINE OR FEMININE TO BE NON-BINARY
  2. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS ‘LOOKING NON-BINARY’
  3. NOT ALL NON-BINARY PEOPLE USE THEY/THEM PRONOUNS
  4. BEING NON-BINARY DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY OTHER GENDER IDENTITY.
  5. YOU DON’T HAVE TO PROVE THAT YOU’RE NON-BINARY

    💜🖤🤍💛

    READ THE INFOGRAPHICS MORE DETAILED REASONS WHY.

Misgendering & dead-naming are threats to transgender people’s identities.

N e v e r use someone’s dead name or pronouns, even when talking about them in the past.

The term itself is pretty self explanatory. It’s called a dead name for a reason. The name is dead to this person.

I’ve heard in the past, people argue : “that was who they were back then, so surely I can use those pronouns / name when describing who they were then” – the answer is no. It’s never ok.

Dead-naming & misgendering are verbally violent offences that attempt to invalidate a persons authentic gender identity – @theadvocatemag

Doing either, erases the trans persons gender presentation. Not forgetting how completely it draining it can be to a trans persons mental health.

the following steps are crucial for ally-ship :

1. n e v e r use a dead name or pronouns.

2. Don’t AVOID using someone name / pronouns – that implies you’re uncomfortable with that persons gender.

3. DO avoid using the phrasing “preferred name” or “preferred pronouns”. It’s not preferred. IT IS.

4. Never ask “What name did you use before you used this name?” You don’t need to know it. (When do you hear people asking married folk, for their old name?)

In a society that attempts to erase us, I’ve known all too well the fear of being ‘unlovable’ / ‘undesirable’ as a result of my gender identity.

CW:/ discussion of body parts & potentially dysphoria inducing language.

When I first started openly discussing I was trans, I had many people (even friends) joke with me about how “weird” and “difficult” it would be for me to exist with the parts I have.

I was even given the offer once, unwarranted, to have “a mould” made from another persons penis, if I wanted it.

I don’t think I even knew at the time how toxic and hurtful these words were for me.

I’m aware that this is not unique to my experience, and in fact many other trans / GNC / enby people feel this way too, so I wanted to share some positive affirmations that we can try to remind ourselves of:

1. Love is not based on your parts. You don’t pull someone’s pants down, and examine their genitalia before falling for them. ⠀⠀

2. If someone makes you feel wrong / lesser / undesirable / unlovable because of your parts, THEY ARE WRONG. Not you. Your parts do not make you any more / less of who you are. ⠀⠀

3. Fight against internalised transphobia & DON’T LET PEOPLE TREAT YOU AS LESSER. Don’t stay in a relationship simply because a person says they love you, if their actions are transphobic / causing you harm. Someone else WILL love the WHOLE of you. ⠀⠀

WE ARE HOT & SEXY & WORTHY OF LOVE, WHATEVER OUR GENDER IDENTITY.