“i’m not transphobic, i know loads of trans people”
knowing us / being friends with us doesn’t automatically mean you are an ally to us
allyship takes active work & time
being an ally requires listening to trans people, using the correct name & pronouns, practicing gender neutral language, learning how best to support trans people, showing up for us & amplifying our voices.
and that’s just a start.
having trans friends doesn’t automatically make you a trans ally
being an ally requires actively working to understand & empathise with us.
a really simple way to show someone you respect them & their gender identity is by using their correct name.
dead naming threatens trans lives.
doing so invalidates a persons authentic gender identity. not forgetting how hurtful it can be. never ask “what name did you use before this” (it doesn’t matter) never use a dead name. Even when talking about that person in the past. avoid using the term “preferred name” – it’s not “preferred” it just is their name don’t AVOID using someones name, this suggests you’re uncomfortable with their gender identity. A dead name is called a dead name for a reason. It’s dead – SO NEVER USE IT! x
since having top surgery my body dysmorphia has become clearer
i was always dysphoric about my chest & hips, and dysmorphic about my stomach.
top surgery only tackled the first one.
the difficulty with dysphoria & dysmorphia is that there are so many overlaps & similarities that it’s super hard to differentiate. making it sometimes harder to work through.
do i dislike the fat on my body because i was taught that ‘fat is bad’ or am i dysphoric about it.
i’m sure a lot of people can relate with this.
for me, i’ve been learning that my gender identity is one thing, but having issues relating with body image is a completely separate thing, not relating to my gender but to societal expectations & rules.
unlearning these toxic messages will be the most important thing for me to overcome the dysmorphia i feel.
some women don’t experience periods – that doesn’t, in any way, de-validate their experience of womanhood. The same goes for men who bleed – they are still valid men. For people who exist outside of binary, it can be extremely frustrating to be not only ignored from the conversations about periods but also to be alienated from them. We must make an effort to change the ways we think about menstruation, as well as the ways we talk about it & educate on it. @superdrug are a great example of a company who have gone the extra mile to produce a gender neutral sanitary product line ‘Luna’.